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Writer's pictureSira Barbeito

A Mother's bond - Catherine of Aragon's fearful letter to her daughter, Mary Tudor


(Cover image – © Unknown Artist – The National Portrait Gallery)



There’s a surviving letter that Katherine of Aragon sent her daughter Mary just a few months after the birth of Elizabeth I, the then presumed princess and heir of England, born to Henry VIII’s second wife Anne Boleyn. Mother and daughter couldn’t see each other and had to keep their correspondence a secret so that they could keep it up. Mary had already been relegated to a bastard due to the Act of Succession that ruled her mother’s marriage to the King as unlawful and was beginning to frail. She had suffered from mental health issues for some time now and not being able to see her beloved mother as well as being removed from her father’s personal life didn’t help her either. Henry VIII wanted her to accept that he was the Supreme Head of the Church of England and that’s something that his daughter simply couldn’t do, as that would mean to turn her back on her (and most importantly, her mother’s) faith, which might very well have been the only stable thing in her life.


Katherine, that was suffering her husband’s wrath first hand, was understandably worried about Mary, and so she grabbed ink and paper and addressed the following letter to her:


“Daughter, I heard such tidings today that I do perceive if it be true, the time is come that Almighty God will prove you; and I am very glad of it, for I trust He doth handle you with a good love. I beseech you agree of His pleasure with a merry heart; and be sure that, without fail, He will not suffer you to perish if you beware to offend Him. I pray you, good daughter, to offer yourself to Him. If any pangs come to you, shrive yourself; first make you clean; take heed of His commandments, and keep them as near as He will give you grace to do, for then you are sure armed. And if this lady [Anne Shelton, sister to Thomas Boleyn and therefore aunt to Anne Boleyn herself] do come to you as it is spoken, if she do bring you a letter from the King, I am sure in the self same letter you shall be commanded what you shall do.


Answer with few words, obeying the King, your father, in everything, save only that you will not offend God and lose your own soul; and go no further with learning and disputation in the matter. And wheresoever, and in whatsoever company you shall come, observe the King’s commandments. Speak you few words and meddle nothing. I will send you two books in Latin; the one shall be De Vita Christi with a declaration of the Gospels, and the other the Epistles of St Jerome that he did write to Paul and Eustochium, and in them I trust you shall see good things. And sometimes for your recreation use your virginals or lute if you have any.


But one thing I especially desire you, for the love that you do owe unto God and unto me, to keep your heart with a chaste mind, and your body from all ill and wanton company, not thinking or desiring any husband for Christ’s passion; neither determine yourself to any manner of living till this troublesome time be past. For I dare make sure that you shall see a very good end, and better than you can desire. I would God, good daughter, that you did know with how good a heart I do write this letter unto you. I never did one with a better, for I perceive very well that God loveth you. I beseech Him of His goodness to continue it; and if it fortune that you shall have nobody with you of your acquaintance, I think it best you keep your keys yourself, for howsoever it is, so shall be done as shall please them.


And now you shall begin, and by likelihood I shall follow. I set not a rush by it; for when they have done the uttermost they can, than I am sure of the amendment. I pray you, recommend me unto my good lady of Salisbury, and pray her to have a good heart, for we never come to the kingdom of Heaven but by troubles.


Daughter, whatsoever you come, take no pain to send unto me, for if I may, I will send to you.

Your loving mother,

Katharine the Queen.”


Let’s start by saying that Katherine reminds Mary of their religion, trying to find solace in one another during times of religious and emotional turbulence. Henry VIII was creating a new faith more in sync with the Protestants, even though he was a closeted devout Catholic until the very end. And, so Katherine, being as Catholic as her own mother had been, must’ve felt alone and sad and desperate to keep her daughter on the right path and not see her deviate into what was becoming the new norm. Katherine could also sense that Elizabeth’s birth could become an issue for Mary, who was already hanging by a mere thread at the receiving end of Henry’s ire.


It’s adequate to note that she tells Mary to obey the King in all but in those matters that may offend God, which might’ve been a subtle reminder to not forget her legitimacy, and not bow down to Henry’s delusion of defying the Pope and Catholicism as a whole. Mary, who would indeed comply with her father, would also send an immediate letter to the Pope asking for forgiveness, incapable of letting it go. Let us not forget that what to us is a historic and political drama, for them it was not only that, but also the destruction of their family unit, which is a trauma that some of us might be able to relate to all too well.


Another interesting thing to take note of is the fact that it’s Anne Boleyn’s aunt herself the one that’s helping Mary and Katherine get in contact, even though she had received orders to be harsh on Mary so that she accepted Anne as Queen. There are multiple accounts of Anne Shelton not being on board with the hate train, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise, but still. Supporting them meant attacking Queen Anne Boleyn.


It’s sweet to see how Katherine, who was probably in a bad place all around, still found it in her to cheer her daughter up and remind her that there still was hope and brightness waiting for her if she kept on being a good-hearted Christian. Maybe Katherine had a feeling she wouldn’t see Mary ever again due to Henry’s stubbornness so I can’t help but to read both a farewell and a how-to-live guide for when she’s no longer on Earth to show her the way. I’ll always get goosebumps when reading “we never come to the kingdom of Heaven but by troubles”, because even if that’s part of the catholic way of seeing being alive as a constant battle to deserve the eternal blessings of Heaven, it’s kind of a hug for Mary too. Her mother is letting her know that no matter how painful existence has become to both of them, they’re running towards a higher goal.


The last thing I need to mention is her signature. After all the fighting and Henry lowering her to Dowager Princess of Wales, Katherine signed the letter off as Queen, which might’ve been both to herself and to instill in Mary the assurance that she was indeed the true princess of England.

I do wish Katherine was out there somewhere looking down on Mary when Edward VI passed away and lots of noblemen rose up to defend Mary’s claim to the throne against Lady Jane Grey, who has gone down in history as the “Nine Days’ Queen”. Katherine’s heart wouldn’t be black and sad, but full of gratitude and pride watching her only daughter finally occupy the seat owed to her by birth right.



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