(Cover image – © The Tudors – Showtime)
A daughter’s relationship with her mother is one of the most beautiful relationships to ever exist in this world as it allows a child to form possibly the deepest, purest bond she will ever have and cherish it forever. It has been said that a mother’s love for her child is the strongest substance in the entire world and that nothing can replace it. Whilst many mothers nowadays are fortunate to develop and hold tight to the bonds they form with their children, sadly, the women of the Tudor age were not so fortunate. Most Tudor children, at least those born into high-standing families, spent most of their childhoods separated from their parents and therefore preventing them from building a close relationship.
This was no different for royal children as they would be sent to live in luxury castles or royal-owned estates with many, many servants and educators ready to obey their every wish. Little princes and princesses hardly saw their royal parents as they wished for them to be sent away from the trifles of the royal court to learn their royal duties. For princes, it was how to govern a country, how to deal with political, economic and religious affairs as well as studying foreign languages, geography, sword-fighting etc. Princesses, on the other hand, had a more—feminine aspect to their learning; young girls were taught dancing and singing, drawing and painting, embroidery and patch-work, horse-riding, as well as instructed on how to run a household efficiently and what their martial duties were e.g. producing male heirs.
Queens of the past most likely did not form close relationships with their children nor have any important role in their upbringing as the King would have had full authority over their children’s future. This was not the same, however, for that of Mary I, the first Queen Regent of England, and her mother, Queen Catherine of Aragon, the first wife of King Henry VIII and the daughter of Queen Isabella I of Castile—a fierce Spanish Queen in her own right.
Whilst one might assume that, due to the fact that Mary was not the long-awaited son her parents had prayed for as well as the recent depiction of this in Starz’s The Spanish Princess, Mary was not close to her mother or that it affected her ability to form close relationships with the people she surrounded herself with—this could not be further from the truth. Contrary to other examples of royal mother-daughter relationships, Mary was extremely close and devoted to her mother, just as her mother doted and cherished her daughter. The two shared a strong, loving bond that would last long after Catherine’s death, with Mary’s love and respect for her mother motivating her in certain decisions she made during her Queenship.
Despite the loving relationship we know Mary and Catherine shared, many are under the assumption that their relationship was distant and difficult, particularly due to the heartbreaking depiction in Starz’s The Spanish Princess based off Philippa Gregory’s Tudor novel series, where we see Catherine neglecting and sometimes outright dismissing her daughter’s presence as well as Henry’s coldness towards his daughter that should have been a boy. In reality, both Catherine and Henry were absolutely thrilled with the birth of their newborn daughter, as they had suffered multiple tragic pregnancies and births before her. A daughter was not always seen as a negative in Tudor culture as many believed that if a woman delivered a daughter, it meant sons would soon follow. If you are looking for an accurate representation of Mary's relationships with her parents, Sarah Bolger's portrayal in Showtime's The Tudors is the best one so far, with Sarah receiving high praise for her role.
Henry and Catherine’s court were surely disappointed in the arrival of a princess, rather than the prince they were hoping for. However, this certainly did not stop the king overtly doting on his fierce, flaxen haired daughter, with primary reports depicting the king often showing off his princess to various noblemen and women in his court as well as foreign visitors, exclaiming how she “never cries”. After all, he believed that both him and Katherine were still young and fertile enough to produce a younger brother for Mary and future King of England. “The Queen and I are still young.” He said. “If it is a daughter this time, by the grace of God sons will follow.”. The young Princess Mary spent her infancy treasured and cherished by both of her parents.
Not long following the arrival of the adored Princess Mary, it became apparent to many within the royal court that the Queen was taking a more direct and involved approach when it came to certain aspects of her daughter’s life—the most important being her education.
Catherine of Aragon was the youngest surviving child of Queen Isabella I of Castile and King Ferdinand II of Aragon, two of the most powerful and influential monarchs that history has ever known. Isabella was known for her controversial opinions and decisions, most could not believe that Isabella was a Queen who ruled in her own right without being married to a King (as she married King Ferdinand to unite their kingdoms). Most famously, she is known as Isabella the Catholic because she (and her husband) instituted the Spanish Inquisition in 1478 which punished non-Catholics and non-believers (heretics) in order to achieve religious unity e.g. make Spain purely Catholic. She even led her armies to battle when trying to rid Spain of the Spanish Jews and Moors, as they were known then. Isabella of Castile was a fierce, quite frightening woman who defied the norm and she even went a step further by doing something Queens did not usually do.
She ensured her daughters received the highest possible education, similar to the ones that her sons received. Isabella was an intelligent woman who understood the social injustices that women suffered from due to a lack of proper education and she wanted all of her children to receive the same level of education which would help them in their future lives. Both Isabella and Ferdinand intended for their children to marry well and establish Spanish Catholic roots in other countries through their marriages. Like other royals, Isabella and Ferdinand would use their children to form more political alliances and strengthen their power and hold on the world. Spain, at this time, was considered one of the largest—if not *the* largest—powerful nation in the world and they intended it to remain this way.
Isabella’s five surviving children were all married to male royals of different countries; her eldest daughter Isabella married Prince Afonso of Portugal, her only son Juan married Archduchess Margaret of Austria, Joanna (who would become Queen of Castile) married Philip the Handsome (ruler of the Burgundian Netherlands), Maria married Manuel I of Portugal (who was the widower of her sister Isabella) and Catherine married Prince Arthur and then his younger brother, Henry VIII.
Mary’s education was mainly influenced by that of her mother and her Spanish tutor, Juan Vives. Catherine wanted to influence Mary’s education by keeping her Spanish roots close to her heart and she achieved this by taking an active approach in the delivery of her daughter’s education. She, herself, personally tutored the young Princess until she was seven years old, similar to the way Isabella had done with her own children. It is no surprise therefore that Mary developed into an intelligent, strong-willed young woman who Catherine believed would rule as Queen in her own right one day like her grandmother and sister Joanna had. One of the unusual additions to Mary’s education was that she was given experience in ruling a court and country from a young age as a result of her title of Princess of Wales. Like her uncle Arthur before her, Mary resided at the Ludlow Castle and governed over her own personal court, where her household comprised of almost 350 people. It is believed that Catherine wished for Mary to learn how to rule from a young age so she would be fit when her time to sit on the throne of England came. With all of her immediate family no longer in contact with her, all of Catherine’s loyalty and familial affection was placed on Mary, which was wholeheartedly returned.
As mentioned before in our previous posts, Mary received a fine education for a princess and her mother’s determination for her daughter to have this meant that Mary was quite an accomplished princess at such a young age. Mary was well versed in history, mathematics, philosophy, needlework, dancing, falconry, hunting and archery. She particularly excelled in languages, being fluent in Latin, French and Spanish. A keen musician, Mary was very fond of playing the harpsichord much like her father. Inventories from the period illuminate this, with various entries for instrument repairs, restringing and purchases. In addition to this, Mary passionately immersed herself in the works of Thomas More and Erasmus as well as studying the integral components and complexities of Catholicism. As a result, Mary possessed the same religious zealousness and piousness of both her mother and grandmother, something that would define her later in life.
Sadly enough, as the years went by and her father grew more and more paranoid over not having the male heir he so craved, Mary’s years of happiness and closeness with her mother would come to an end as her father announced his desire to divorce her mother in favour of a younger lady of the English court; Anne Boleyn. Someone Mary would be forced to deal with for many years to come.
At the tender age of twelve years old, Mary would become aware of the worrying state of her parents’ decaying marriage with the beginning of the Legatine trial between Catherine and Henry. Despite being a mere teenager, she would have arguably been old enough to fully or at least partially understand the overall gravity of the King’s ‘Great Matter’ and its implication on her future. Although Mary and her mother continued to spend a large quantity of their time in each other’s company, Mary spent mere fleeting and intermittent moments with both of her parents together with one example being that in 1528, the trio spent a month together in Tittenhanger to avoid the sickness that was spreading across the capital. Even Henry’s beloved mistress and future wife Anne almost succumbed to the disease.
One wonders whether Mary might have been happy to hear that Anne was sick and wished to be rid of her, since it was Anne’s fault that her parents’ marriage was suffering and that the realm was divided.
The strength of Mary and Catherine’s relationship would be tested when Henry made a decision that destroyed the happiness of both mother and daughter; they were to be separated and banned from seeing or even speaking to one another. In 1531, Mary sent to Richmond whilst her mother was moved around from place to place, each residence worsening her mother’s health and elongating the distance between them. There is no doubt that Henry deliberately separated his estranged wife and daughter from one another to hurt them and force them to bend to his will. He was well aware, as was everyone else in his court, just how much they loved and needed one another, they were practically inseparable—so he separated them in hopes of getting what he wanted. It is no surprise, given the immense emotional distress this must have caused Mary, that the initial reports of serious sickness began to emerge shortly following this. Complaints of agonizing stomach pains and swelling became increasingly frequent upon her return from visiting her mother for a month in March 1531. By 12th July 1531 after seeing Mary at Richmond a month prior, Henry paid £20 (in Tudor money) for a doctor to investigate Mary’s health. It was concluded that she was experiencing ‘hysteria’.
Catherine herself was not fairing any better as she had also begun to show signs of worrying sickness and sometimes found it difficult to eat or sleep, as concerns of whether Henry had sent spies to report on her every move sank deep into her heart. She also worried over the condition of her only child as Mary’s defiance to accept Henry’s divorce from her mother and his marriage to Anne Boleyn stemmed from Catherine’s own courage (which also came from her mother) and Mary refused to stop fighting for both her and her mother’s rights. Mary was no longer Princess of Wales as of 1533, her baby sister Elizabeth was now Princess and Mary was declared illegitimate with the title of Lady Mary. Her mother was now to be known as Dowager Princess of Wales, a snub from Henry as he believed Catherine’s marriage to his elder brother had been consummated, although Catherine refused to use the title and continued to call herself Queen of England until the day she died.
Henry would continue to keep them separated from the remainder of Catherine’s life as on 7th January 1536, just over four months before her successor Anne Boleyn would also meet her end on the 19th May 1536, Catherine of Aragon died at Kimbolton House, never having the chance to say goodbye to her loving daughter.
Understandably, Mary was devastated when she received news of her mother’s death; she had lost the mother she had loved, respected and fought for who had fought to give her a proper education and her rightful title as Queen of England. Grief overwhelmed Mary as she could find no comfort in the people surrounding her as she was still isolated from court and lived under the watchful eyes of people loyal to Anne Boleyn. It was not long after that Mary submitted to her father’s will and agreed to his demands, even though it went against her faith, because she no longer had international support from her Spanish relatives with her mother’s death. She no longer had anyone who supported her or was on her side but thankfully, she would no longer have to deal with ‘Mistress’ Anne Boleyn, as she called her, since she would be beheaded on claims of treason and adultery on the 17th May 1536, making her younger sister Elizabeth also illegitimate and now Lady Elizabeth.
And although Mary would learn to accept her mother’s passing, her mother’s strength and piousness lived on in Mary as she received letters written by her mother before her death from trusted allies throughout the years which she still kept close to her. Mary was still beloved by the court, even after her stepmother Anne Boleyn had become Queen and birthed her own little princess, and there were many who despised Anne Boleyn and were loyal to Catherine, wanting to help her and her daughter in their fight for justice. One of these letters has survived and shows how much Catherine was fighting for her daughter’s survival amidst a new reality where Anne Boleyn and her daughter were now in control of the future of the throne of England. In this letter from 1534, she says;
“Daughter,
I heard such tidings today that I do perceive (if it be true) the time is very near when Almighty God will prove you; and I am very glad of it for I trust he doth handle you with a good love. I beseech you, agree of His pleasure with a merry heart; and be sure that, without fail, He will not suffer you to perish if you beware to offend Him. I pray you, good daughter, to offer yourself to Him…….And if this lady [Shelton] do come to you as is spoken, if she do bring you a letter from the King, I am sure in the self same letter you shall be commanded what you shall do. Answer with few words, obeying the King, your father, in everything, save only that you will not offend God and lose your own soul; and go no further with learning and disputation in the matter. And wheresoever, and in whatsoever, company you shall come, observe the King’s commandments.
But one thing I especially desire you, for the love that you do owe unto God and unto me, to keep your heart with a chaste mind, and your body from all ill and wanton company, [not] thinking or desiring any husband for Christ’s passion; neither determine yourself to any manner of living till this troublesome time be past. For I dare make sure that you shall see a very good end, and better than you can desire…..And now you shall begin, and by likelihood I shall follow. I set not a rush by it; for when they have done the uttermost they can, then I am sure of the amendment…..we never come to the kingdom of Heaven but by troubles. Daughter wheresoever you come, take no pain to send unto me, for if I may, I will send to you,
Your loving mother, Katherine the Queen” {2}
At the time of writing this letter, Mary was under the guardianship of Lady Anne Shelton, the aunt of Anne Boleyn, her new stepmother, who kept an ever-watchful eye of the Lady Mary, making sure that she never spoke out against the new Queen or attempted to disobey her father’s commands. Despite Lady Shelton’s efforts, Mary received a secret letter from her mother, possibly delivered through a maid who was paid by a trusted ally of her mother, and as seen above, we see Catherine comforting her daughter during this troubling period by saying that God is testing her strength and her beliefs and if she puts herself into His hands, he will relieve her of her pains. Obviously, we see her warning Mary of what the King intends to do and begs her to obey his every command, except those that go against her conscience that would mean she was giving up her soul.
Catherine advises Mary about many things but the one thing she asks of her daughter is to contact her if she can and, if she does, Catherine promises to reply. We are not sure whether or not the mother and daughter were able to continue giving each other secret letters but we do know that they never saw one another again and in this letter, Catherine hints towards martyrdom in her case, almost as if she is saying that she will be a martyr for their religion and that Mary must do all she can to ensure their religion lives on when her time comes. Even in the darkest of times, we see Catherine clinging to the hope that her daughter will one day be Queen. Of course, she would not live to see her daughter Queen in 1553 but Mary knew that somewhere in Heaven, her mother was smiling proudly down at her.
During Mary’s brief five years as Queen of England, Mary kept the memory of her mother alive by installing many changes in England. First, she started by once again making England a Catholic nation and reinstalling connections within the Holy Roman Church and forming a relationship with the Pope. Naturally, Mary’s Spanish roots and deep love for the Catholic religion meant that England was welcomed back almost instantaneously but this was not the only Catholic-related change she made. Unlike her Protestant brother before her, Mary’s council was filled with Catholics she trusted who had supported either her mother or herself (or whose family had done so) during their troubles. Henry Bedingfield was just one example of her trusted advisors as he was the son of Catherine’s steward who had attended to Princess Elizabeth whilst Mary was under house arrest in Elizabeth’s household. The two shared a connection over her mother and it is believed that Henry only served under Elizabeth’s household out of duty, rather than choice as his parents were quiet supporters of Catherine and Mary. She also welcomed many Catholics who had fled the country back into her court and offered them protection against the Protestants, whom she burned at the stake for heresy which earned her title of Bloody Mary although it was undeserved as she only executed 300 people in comparison to the estimated 57,000 that her father had.
Mary’s greatest show of her devotion to her mother’s Spanish roots was her choice of husband; she married King Philip II of Spain one year into her reign which sparked controversy amongst her subjects although both she and Philip chose to ignore them. Although their marriage initially started as a loving one where they both eagerly consummated the marriage as soon as they could, it eventually soured as Philip became neglectful towards Mary by opting to spend most of his time in Spain, leaving Mary heartbroken and abandoned in England until her death ended their unsuccessful marriage.
As Queen, Mary ensured that her mother’s legacy lived on and that her marriage to her father was no longer viewed as invalid and illegitimate. Catherine was spoken about positively by both Mary and those close to her as many who had supported her mother but hid their views for fear of Henry VIII’s wrath began to speak of their disgraced former Queen with the blessing of their new Queen. In fact, as soon as Mary was declared Queen, a book written by her former tutor Juan Vives, The Office and Duetie of a Husband, was published in English in England for the first time since it was considered too contentious to publish it beforehand where he wrote about Catherine in terms to flatter Mary, praising Catherine for how she dealt with her suffering gracefully like the Queen she was and that Catherine would be proud of her daughter. Although this book was published during Mary’s reign, it was actually written in the midst of Henry VIII’s divorce from Catherine of Aragon, whilst Juan Vives was in Spain and where he originally published it as Spain supported Catherine during this time.
Although Mary would also speak respectfully of her departed father and brother, it was her mother whom she spoke of often and in good spirits, showing just how much of an impact her mother’s love and dedication to her had on her later life. It is possible that, without Catherine’s determination to educate and protect her daughter’s rights, Mary would not have held onto the belief that she was the rightful heir to the Tudor throne and that a woman could rule on the throne of England, just like her younger sister Elizabeth would do following her death in 1558.
Mary I of England was a strong-willed woman who faced many tragedies and dark periods in her forty-two years of life. Sadly, today she is known as Bloody Mary because of her passionate religious beliefs whilst she should be remembered for fighting for her rights as a future monarch, battling against those who wished to keep her weak and powerless, sticking to her beliefs even when her father wanted her to abandon them and ultimately, becoming the first ever Queen Regent England has ever known, paving the way for future Queen Regents such as her sister Elizabeth I, her distant relation Victoria I (as she is a descendant of Mary, Queen of Scots who is related by blood to Mary) and our late Queen Elizabeth II.
She was a Queen born but never broken—someone we should never forget.
Until next time!
- Have a ‘Tudor-fic’ week!
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